It’s a rare occasion that I feel like a true ‘grown up’. I mean, I may be firmly into my 40s, married, a home owner, and mother of three children, but in my head I am still that slightly naive, overly trusting, head in the clouds young girl who lived the single life in the big smoke for many years. I was responsibility-free, had a disposable income, and a hectic social life. OK technically I was a grown up then too, but it didn’t really feel like it.
It felt as though the milestones to adulthood came later to me than to many of my friends … so that now I am one of the oldest mums in the playground. But I don’t regret that at all. It took me a while to gather together all the things that I now hold dearest – husband, lovely home, close family, and of course Grace, Lissy, and Nate. But they were so worth the wait.
And every now and then I have a penny-dropping moment and I realise that I have finally reached that point when I can no longer deny being all grown up. 😉
Yes, there’s some undeniable stuff in the mix like paying the mortgage and all those responsible things, but really what most makes me feel like I’m *there* are the intangibles.
Like this morning when Lissy – who had a big bump falling off the swing last night and is feeling a bit wobbly – came to ask if I would meet her after playgroup today. This is usually treats with the grandparents time, and Mummy does not get a look in ( 😉 ) but sometimes a little girl just wants her mum, and this is obviously one of those moments. (I know how she feels I still need my Mum – and Dad – quite often!).
And last Friday, when Grace brought a friend home from school and I managed to keep them both (and Lissy and Nate) safe and entertained until she was picked up by her Daddy much later. Looking at my biggest small girl as she proudly walked home hand in hand with her mate made me feel so proud. She’s growing up too!
Getting older is a strange feeling. I now have parents who sometimes need a bit of a helping hand and it feels as though the balance of responsibility for caring for others has shifted somewhat. It’s definitely hard to deny you’re an adult as you see your Dad being whisked away for emergency surgery and then sit by the phone until midnight waiting to hear that he came safely through. (Which he did!).
But there’s always still space and time to be less grown up and responsible. The past couple of years brought with them a huge amount of responsibility, and now I am starting to enjoy more freedom, see the lighter side of life, and thoroughly enjoy the best noise in the world – the sound of my children chuckling when they get tickled.
Being a grown up is unavoidable, but it’s not everything …! In fact, even though being grown up is undeniable, I do love it when I get the chance to sneak away from it all and pretend that I’m really not! 🙂